Karma 67 Studios

Something different; or let’s lighten up, and look at pretty things

karma67studios — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:27:41 +0000

Part of our logo

Together

Tattooed tenderness

I figured since it’s been along time,I would throw a couple of pics up here. I don’t know about you, but I have missed seeing them. Hope you like them as well.

Progress; or First they came for the gays…

karma67studios — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:15:59 +0000

The APA Paraphilia Subworkgroup agrees:Kinky is not a diagnosis

In the new proposals for the DSM-V, alternative sexual behavior has been depathologized. The American Psychiatric Association’s Paraphilias Subworkgroup’s DSM revisions acknowledge that you can be a fetishist, transvestite, sexual sadist or sexual masochist without having a mental disorder.” Read the rest of the article here

For those who don’t know, “The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is published by the American Psychiatric Association and provides a common language and standard criteria for the classification of mental disorders.” (Wikipedia)

Perception; or I may not be what you think I am.

karma67studios — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 23:37:24 +0000

I found this fantastic essay, which deals with the perceptions of BDSM both between others in the scene, as well as one’s own perception of their activities. The insight is brilliant. I’ll be back after the essay.

“Not all BDSM is dominance and submission

by Patti (Fetlife) 3 months ago

In a recent discussion on a completely different topic, a sub-thread popped up on a subject that’s near and dear to my heart. I thought it deserved a thread of its own, so I’m starting one.

Here are some quotes from the original discussion. Please don’t be offended if I’ve included your quote here. I do it merely for purposes of illustration, and with no degree of ill will or malice.

>My initial idea was/is to try bottoming [...] At this point, however, I am re-considering that notion. I have ZERO interest in subbing/servitude

>Bottoming” implies submitting

>All bottoming is, FOR THAT MOMENT, submitting. Submission is more than bottoming, true. Bottoming is being THE submissive for that scene. Period.

>I can see how, if a person (normally a dominant in our usage) wanted masochism, an endorphine thrill, they could have their boy/girl/bottom/submissive/slave/SO, whatever, or anyone else, spank them… thus ‘topping from the bottom’… ‘legitimately’, LOL, but it is still ‘submitting’ to the spanking, the ACT, and that is the absolute to which I refer. A person ON ‘the bottom’ ‘submits’, to it OR ‘Tops from the bottom’ in some degree.

>I see the key fetish in BDSM, the one that ties us all together as being the power exchange

>Without a power exchange dynamic, it is just kinky sex. It is the need to -have- or -give up- power that sets us apart.

From where I sit, each and every one of those things is false.

The term BDSM is a big umbrella. It covers a lot of activities that used to be addressed with their own acronyms– Bondage and Discipline (e.g. Harmony softcore bondage magazines), Dominance and Submission (playing with power exchange and power dynamics), and Sadism and Masochism (playing with pain and sensation.) You can also overlay Slave and Master onto the SM, or just take the B for bondage without the D. The term also wraps itself around lots of things that don’t really fit into the alphabet soup, such as human animal play, some fetishism, some body modification, self-bondage, ageplay, and quite a few other things. It’s really pretty much a catch-all term for a big chunk of alternative eroticism.

It’s entirely possible to do BDSM play without any sort of dominance, submission, or power exchange being involved. It’s quite possible to mix dominance and submission with pretty much any BDSM activity, of course, but doing so is far from mandatory. While many people do choose to do power exchange as part of BDSM, there are plenty of people in the scene who do not do so and the people who do play with power don’t do it in all of their scenes. Their way of playing is just as valid as any other, and they are equal participants and members of the community.

When I first came into the leather community a couple of decades ago, the words top and bottom were the catch-all terms for giver and receiver, or what a friend of mine referred to as pitcher and catcher. This seemed to work really well, as they fairly clearly described the roles without ascribing any particular motivations or orientations to the participants. Over the years, and for reasons that I won’t elaborate on here, the catch-all terms became dom and sub. This is an unfortunate linguistic shift, as it now colors the participants in any scene with roles and motivations that may not actually exist.

It’s even more unfortunate, as it suggests that all of BDSM involves dominance and submission. It leads people to believe that all bottoms are submissive and all tops dominant, and that in order to be a top/bottom one must also be dominant/submissive. This does a terrible disservice to people who are interested in some aspects of BDSM play but have no particular affinity for power exchange, as it leads them to try to assume roles that do not fit. This can be awkward, annoying, or even damaging to the player who is not oriented toward power exchange, but feels that they must pretend to be in order to be a part of the BDSM community. It is especially dangerous for newcomers who lack the experience to see the full rainbow of BDSM diversity.

We all tend to view the world through the lens of our personal experience. If I see a flogging scene in the dungeon, I will generally perceive it as an SM scene. If a DS-centric person sees the same scene, they will probably perceive it as a scene involving power exchange. From the outside, it may be difficult or impossible to tell whether there is a power dynamic going on, but if you think of BDSM primarily as power exchange you will probably see dominance and submission even where none exists.

The belief that all BDSM is DS is my hot button, and I have made it my personal crusade to correct this misconception whenever I encounter it. People often ask me why I care so much, or why I feel so strongly about this. That’s easy. When I first came into the community, I was around people who believed that DS was an integral part of what we did. I was drawn to bottoming, and I wanted to experience the intensity of spanking, whipping, and other SM play. My desire was very strong, and I was willing to do what I had to in order to fulfill my needs. Unfortunately, much of what I had to do involved shoehorning myself into a submissive role for which I was ill-suited, and I was profoundly unhappy doing so. I spent quite a bit of time suffering through this unhappiness in an attempt to find what I needed, and more than once I was on the edge of leaving the community in frustration.

I eventually met up with a merry band of sadomasochists who showed me what I was missing, and taught me that I could be myself and find what I needed without having to fake something that was contrary to my nature. I learned that top and bottom could be collaborators and co-conspirators who met as equals in the dungeon and shared equally in the journey.

The misconception that all BDSM involves dominance and submission made me extremely miserable, and I wish that I had learned earlier that I could be myself and still find what I needed. I speak up on this topic because I don’t want anyone else to go through the same agony that I did– I’d much rather have them find the joyful agony that they seek. While some people may perceive my arguments as linguistic hair-splitting, for me it’s an educational mission of truth and happiness. If just one person reads my discussions and learns that they don’t have to pretend to be dominant or submissive, it will have been worth it to me.

Over the years, I’ve had a surprising number of people tell me that I’m wrong, and that what I’m doing really does involve dominance and submission. If you’d like to well and truly infuriate me, I highly recommend this technique. Nobody but me is inside my head, and nobody is closer to my thoughts and emotions than I am. When you tell me that what I’m doing is DS, you undermine and invalidate my entire experience of BDSM. It’s almost certain that the flavor of BDSM you do is different from the flavor of BDSM that I do, but I would never deign to judge your play or question your truth. Yet, for some reason, DS practitioners often feel the need to do that to non-DS players. The arrogance of this is truly stunning.

There are an infinite number of ways to do BDSM. None of them is deeper, kinkier, more evolved, or otherwise superior to any other way of doing BDSM. There’s no hierarchy of kink, no grade levels, no leather evolutionary path. There are just different flavors of BDSM, each custom-tailored to the individuals involved.

Not all BDSM involves bondage, and that’s OK. Not all BDSM involves sadism and masochism, and that’s OK. Finally, not all BDSM involves dominance and submission. That, too, is OK. Well, it’s more than OK– if egalitarian BDSM play is your kink, it can be truly glorious.”

Thank you to Patti for permission to reprint this here.

As I have stated before, perception (both public and private) is very important within, and for, the community. I suppose it’s important to the vanilla population as well, but most people don’t think vanilla is unusual or deviant. The terms that we use for one another, whether it of how we play or how we identify, define us in a very tangible way. The problem with this is that I may define myself as one thing (based on my perception), but the observer filters that definition through their own experience and beliefs, sees me a different way.

Patti’s point about someone else defining her play invalidating her experience is extremely insightful and valid. Our experiences, in play and in life, are enriched by our own interpretations of their meaning. Any meaning assigned from outside devalues, and lessens our empiricism. I can only experience and assign meaning to my own activities, just as you can only experience and assign meaning to yours. The only way we experience each other is through observation and our own thoughts and beliefs.

Perhaps there needs to be some deeper understanding of, and maybe curiosity about, what our titles mean to us, as opposed to blind obedience to a “commonly” accepted meaning. After all who’s interpretation became the accepted one?

We deal enough with the vanilla world wondering why we have come to this lifestyle, and what we get from it. Let’s not detract from our experiences by defining someone else.

We have all come to play, let me worry about what my interactions mean to me.

In the words of Inigo Montoya (Princess Bride) “You keep saying that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Thanks for sticking with me.

A quick quote from Fetlife about bacon

karma67studios — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 03:16:11 +0000

A fellow Fetlifer posted this…It really made me laugh.

“BDSM doesnt start or stop with sex.

It can be a component of it, to be sure, but there are many facets that can be explored fully clothed and an asexual fashion.

Its like Bacon, you can enjoy bacon any time you want, its delicious, smells wonderful and fills the hole in your tummy.

But, you can add bacon to just about everything else and make it better ! Bacon & eggs, bacon butties, bacon wrapped steak, bacon bits in the chili! bacon bits in the salad, chocolate covered bacon (its tasty!), bacon wrapped bacon with bacon cheese ! bacon burgers ! bacon wrapped sausages, bacon wrapped tofu (it might make tofu edible!).

So, there you have it.

BDSM is Bacon.”

He probably said it better than I have in any of my posts.

Fetish 101; or Learn what you want…Safely

karma67studios — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 02:59:16 +0000

I was wandering around some of the links that I had in my bookmarks list, trying to pare them down, and organize a bit. One of the links that I had, but had not been to for some time is an instruction site called “wonder how to“. It’s a video site that gives you DIY videos and instructions on a vast array of topics. It’s a good place to waste a few minutes (hours). After all, you never know when you might have a urge to learn how to make Beef Wellington, install a car stereo, and master your new break dancing move all in one sitting. That being said, you are probably wondering what that has to do with the mission of this site. Well, allow me to explain.

There are two large barriers to the exploration of fetish life:

Public perception-I know…fetishes are unhealthy, unnatural, and somehow against God. Healthy people don’t do things like this! It’s violent, promotes objectification of women, increases the incidences of rape…or whatever the horse-shit of the day happens to be.

In truth, as I have said before, I don’t know anyone more comfortable with themselves,and what they like than these people. There is a healthiness that comes with being free to explore what turns you on, with having open dialog about your kinks, and knowing that you have a supportive atmosphere to engage in your own fantasies. It’s important to understand the protocol, and negotiations that take place before a scene, so that all are in agreement of what can and cannot be undertaken (I’ll discuss more about this in another post). It’s all part of the open dialog, and trust that is required.

Now, if you decide that this is a road that you might like to travel for a while, we come tothe second issue.

Where does the information come from. Not everyone is comfortable walking into your local adult store, or fetish emporium to ask questions. Certainly you don’t want to spend your money blindly on something from the internet, that you may not like, or every use again. Also, how do you play safely? You don’t want to tie someone up to play and cut off their circulation or dislocate a shoulder.

While perusing the site, I came across their section on Sex education, and I thought this would be a worthwhile topic, in that everyone needs to start somewhere.

It includes videos such as this one by the two knotty boys , a pair of riggers with a plethora of instruction videos on their site (linked). Videos like this are great for the beginner or student of technique (Dominatrices may be tough to come by, for most people).

It also includes introductory videos explaining fetish, and choosing toys, as well as many other subjects.

My point being…learning what you like, and healthy ways of exploring those interests is good. But above all, play safely.

Fetish Propaganda

karma67studios — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 07:05:00 +0000

Right after I made the last post, I found these posters while wandering WordPress. They are on a blog called Attempted Artistry. Let’s just say the timing was appropriate…Check them out!!

Varied community interests, or Another Flogger?

karma67studios — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 06:16:15 +0000

As I said in the last post, we had a conversation at a play party about the activities that our community engages in, and by extension the equipment that gets used.

We have been to several events, and have wandered around checking out other people’s equipment (okay, maybe that sounded like we spend all of our time at the urinals). Anyway, I find the number of floggers astonishing. Everyone has their toy bags (golf bags, gun cases, suitcases, quivers, etc) and riding comfortably inside are often several, sometimes tens of floggers (or canes) of varying sizes, weights, and materials.

Pardon my bluntness, but my question is this…WHY?

Do you really need or use all of those? Is the sensation really that different between the half dozen thuddy floggers that you own? Are you just sometimes in the mood for the pink one? Is your play not complete without just one more implement for whacking?

Or is it a more serious issue?

Do you lack imagination?

Here is the gist of our conversation. Within popular culture, the whip/flogger is “fetish”. Think about it, you see “fetish” pictures, what do you see?

Some overly made up, long haired, pouty-faced twenty year old wearing skin tight leather/rubber holding a whip or flogger. Perhaps there is a caption that says something to the effect of “have you been a bad boy?”

UGH.

The image is so prevalent that a Domme I know began a thread on Fetlife discussing the fact that after 14 years in the business she doesn’t “look like a dominatrix anymore”.

Does this image impact the way we play? I would imagine so. I think that people get associate the image of the floggers, and start there (I did). Perhaps they just don’t progress from there. Is this a bad thing? Maybe, maybe not. If it makes you happy, or at least gets you going…Then it’s a good thing (anything that gives pleasure is good). Being stuck isn’t.

What if you are missing the thing that could be great? It seems odd to me that a group that is already exploring the limits of trust, and sensation would stop at being at one end of the whip or another.

Maybe explore some new things…wax play, fire, violet wand, sensory deprivation, suspension, knife play…hell, maybe an electric stapler.

You never know what will get you there. Remember, imagination is the kinkiest thing there is.

Questions about community

karma67studios — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 04:55:59 +0000

I think my previous post may have been a little rambling. if so, mea culpa. I’ll try to do better.

As I alluded to, we went to this party as vendors and sold nothing. I didn’t expect big numbers, but perhaps a little interest. Now before you start thinking that I am being a whiny bitch…bear with me. That’s not what this is about.

So what IS the point?

At the end of the evening, we were talking to another one of the guests, and began discussing business and the scene as a whole.

I will be breaking this conversation into two posts (community support and varied interests) as we had views on each part individually.

First, on support of the community. I have said several times before, that I think these are some of the most accepting, warm-hearted, and friendly people I have had the opportunity to spend time with. That being said (again), it seems to us (and the gentleman that we were speaking with) that the community does not do a lot to support the artisans within that community.

Let me explain: At the events that we have been to, we have seen many vendors of hand made toys or equipment. These people put a lot of time and effort into creating beautiful unique pieces, that no one buys.

Even pieces that have been donated to fundraiser auctions never go for anywhere close to a market price. If someone donates a $500.00 piece, that gets sold at auction for $35.00, what message does that send to the artist? Or worse, to the charity?

I don’t understand it. These are the people that you play with, you socialize with, you munch with. Why would you rather buy your canes from some website, than from someone that you see every weekend? At the very least, if something goes wrong with the piece, you can speak to the person that crafted it, and get it fixed.

I don’t know if this is about the anonymity of the internet, or maybe something as innocuous as being able to use a credit card, but it strikes me as odd that such a close knit group would not do everything in it’s power to assure the success of others in the group. Maybe some see it as a conflict of interest, to give your money to the people that you play with.

The amount of money that gets spent on equipment is mind-boggling. One of my clients had a doggy style restraint (that inspired the “Phydeaux” which is shown above). He had ordered it online for about $350.00. That is one piece of equipment, multiply that by the amount of equipment sold each year. That is a lot of money leaving our communities. Also, think what he could have gotten made for him for that money…something custom made and unique (ahem…I’m just sayin’), also probably cheaper.

I realize that everyone is looking for quality, selection, and value, but sometimes that is found right under your nose. Keep your money in your community and support your friends.

I realize that this sounds like the Always Buy Local promotions…and I suppose it is.

In the end which needs your support more? Your friends and playmates, or extremerestraints.com?

Observations during a play party

karma67studios — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 03:46:50 +0000

Steph and I went to a play party as equipment vendors last month. It was an eye opening experience for a number of reasons. First, it was once again, an affirmation of how lovely the people in our local scene are. Everyone is so open and accepting. That is not the eye opening part.

As we sat there, observing the goings-on (as we didn’t sell anything, which I will address in the next post), we began discussing what a fascinating experience this was. Here was a group of people that was so comfortable with one another (and themselves), that no-one seemed to think twice about stripping down to their lime green thong to be flogged against a St.Andrews cross, or laid out for some fire play. It was beautiful to see people in their environment, with others like them, and how happy everyone was. It makes me remember why I love these people.

Sorry, forgive me for that tangent. We sat there critiquing (or appreciating) someone’s flogging technique, it occurred to me, that most people would find this experience very strange. I was surprised how comfortable it all was, and how surreal it seemed all at the same time.

According to some studies, somewhere between 5 and 25 percent of Americans show some affinity for the BDSM lifestyle. Actual figures are hard to come by due to the public perception of deviance in the community ( I have done photos of people who have asked not to be recognizable in the pictures because they fear repercussions from employers).

My point being, the vast majority of the population would be very uncomfortable with spending an evening among our community, but knowing these people… knowing how kind, loving and accepting they truly are, I’d say I think it’s a pretty good way to spend an evening…experiencing new things, with beautiful people.

My absence and direction

karma67studios — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 03:08:49 +0000

First,allow me to apologize for my extended absence. I was having some issues with my own direction, and what I wanted this forum to be. As it began, I thought that it would just be a good way to get my studio’s name and work out to a new audience, but as it went on, I realized that there could be…no, SHOULD be more to it. Every post being some sort of advert for our services, or a show of our work, in some masturbatory, self-congratulatory way, serves no greater good, nor does it provide an interesting experience for anyone involved.

So, in the interest of…well…interest, I have decided that this will be more of a forum for lifestyle discussions, equipment and goings on, with less of our work and horn blowing.

I can’t guarantee NO horn-blowing, but no one wants to read the unending exploits of someone blowing smoke up their own ass.